Friday, July 16, 2010 02:52 AM
Bullying is a form of intimidation, and it's not limited to a specific demographic.
It's found among all groups, ages and both genders, regardless of family income.
There's almost always one common thread: disrespect for those considered to be different, unworthy and not deserving of rights and privileges of the "in group.
" Like all predators, bullies seek out the weakest among their classmates and neighbors. Taunts can leave lifelong emotional scars and can even be deadly.
Reports of school bullying vary by buildings and levels and appear to be highest between fourth and eighth grades - the middle-school years, where it has been known to affect nearly 80 percent of students.
Bullying is learned behavior, and, fortunately, it can be unlearned. It must be addressed in its early stages by those in authority: parents, teachers and, if necessary, juvenile courts.
Playground bullies may receive rough justice because others may be nastier. But there's a new type of bullying, cyber-bullying, and it involves cowardly behavior. While playground bullies often use physical aggression, cyber-bullies are more insidious with name-calling and malicious gossip.
Last January, Phoebe Prince, a high-school student in Massachusetts, hanged herself. She was a recent immigrant from Ireland and had no friends. Five students, two males and three females, were arrested on criminal charges because, prosecutors said, they harassed Phoebe through text messages, calling her vile names and driving her to suicide.
The district attorney accused Phoebe's teachers and school administrators of being derelict. But the parents weren't considered complicit. Thus, those who should have the most control over their youngsters weren't charged.
Thankfully, most victims of bullies don't end up dead. But children who have been bullied, both physically and emotionally, often can recall feelings of worthlessness years later. These memories can be painful and contribute to serious problems as adults.
Childhood bullies will become adult bullies unless they learn other, socially acceptable ways to satisfy their need for power and attention. Some authorities find those who bully and are bullied are at risk of loneliness, troubled friendships, poor school work and problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking. Thus, both the bullied and the bullies can be victims.
Parents bear some responsibility when cyber-bullying originates from school sites.
School personnel are responsible for informing students and parents of policies regarding behavior at school. They're obligated to enforce rules and provide instruction to students on preventing bullying and to teach bullies alternate behaviors and attitudes.
But parents have major responsibility for their children. They can show them, by their words and deeds, respect for all people. Powerful learning occurs through observing and practicing behavior - good and bad.
How to help potential bullies and their victims? Teach youngsters to respect others and how to cope with bullies through group counseling in elementary and middle schools. Parents need to listen to and observe their children for signs that they are fearful and feel intimidated or are too aggressive. And seek help early. The Ohio Department of Education's website provides bullying-prevention help in the Learning Supports section under Safe and Supportive Learning.
Bullying always will exist to some degree. Antidotes include showing respect for others and helping those who may be followers to gain the self-confidence to do the right thing. Acceptable behavior starts with adults because children imitate what we do and say. Adults' examples help our young form the foundation for good and bad behavior in school and in life.
Thomas M. Stephens is professor emeritus in the College of Education and Human Ecology at Ohio State University and is executive director emeritus of the School Study Council of Ohio.
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